Allow me to gush for just a wee bit. I was smacked about the head last night, figuratively of course. I had a realisation – hence the head smacking.
A few months back, I made the proper acquaintance of a young lady. I say proper because we had been friends for a couple of years but just never quite got close, in that sort of pre-Madden Paris & Nicole way. We had a turning point a few months back and all that changed. Now I’m in total friend crush… I heartily believe that never again will I suffer the pain of not having a BFF to dare to do a shimmy in the middle of a shopping centre.
But what’s the big deal? I’m a girl. And as such (I’m generalising, sure), I need a gal pal to giggle with, someone to spend a couple of hours over-analysing with at breakfast, someone who understands why it matters to me that the dress I’m in heart with is never gonna fit, someone to bitch about husband to, someone who’ll cry with me at the movies. This shit matters!
About a year ago my then best friend dumped my sorry ass. Not in so many words of course. She just sort of disappeared from my life. It was just as heart-rending as a breakup. Ok maybe not but not too far off. There was teariness and sleeplessness for a few days. It took me about a year AND finding a new friend to really get over it. Much like a breakup. In fact, when I questioned my ex-BFF about what was going on, she played dumb and gave no reasons. Just like a guy huh! In hindsight, we weren’t right for each other. That I can admit that now is, well, I guess I really have moved on.
This time round, I’ve got myself a bestie who is, by far, the most trustworthy person I’ve ever met and we’re a lot more suited just cos we’re in a similar place in life. She’s cool, quirky, creative, funny and one of a kind. The best part though, I KNOW that she’ll be there for me. And, I feel so safe and comfortable that I wouldn’t hesitate to ask.
That is my realisation… that because I’m quite an independent person, the sign of true friendship for me, is knowing that if I needed help I WOULD ask. That has not been true in the past – I’ve always felt like “the depended upon”; like I was needed. This time I feel like we’re equals. She might need me and I might need her. We will rely on each other. And that’s ok.
So perhaps the Paris/Nicole analogy is a bad one under the circumstances. Perhaps… Jennifer Aniston to my Courtney Cox? Or Gail to my Oprah? Gwyneth to my Madonna?
Filed under: Musing & Boozing | Tagged: CJ, friends
